Latest articles published by BloGate users
2009-06-20 05:15:45
:: Dog gets stoned with the magical dragon
Author : eddie272
If a dog is a man's best friend, then Jack, an 11 year-old Labrador Retriever, is a stoner's. A few days ago Jack was having a nice walk with his owner around a park when a scent aroused his sense of smell.
In fact, the scent was so strong that he ran away from his owner and into a stash of dried, harvested marijuana, of which he managed to swallow quite a bit. The owner, Jen Waddell, then decided to head home before they got into more trouble.
Jack's Girlfriend
As you can imagine, the dog was just stoned out of his mind, with glossy eyes and trouble walking, I'm sure it will have been a spectacle to anyone who has seen a stoner before. His happiness would not last long, however, as he was later given some medication by a vet to vomit all of the marijuana he had taken.
Waddell would go on to jokingly ask the police that they could use the dog if they paid the $1500 in medical expenses.
Very smart Waddell, seeing as it is a bit suspicious that your dog stumbled into a stash in the first place, sure it wasn't your own?
In fact, the scent was so strong that he ran away from his owner and into a stash of dried, harvested marijuana, of which he managed to swallow quite a bit. The owner, Jen Waddell, then decided to head home before they got into more trouble.
Jack's Girlfriend
As you can imagine, the dog was just stoned out of his mind, with glossy eyes and trouble walking, I'm sure it will have been a spectacle to anyone who has seen a stoner before. His happiness would not last long, however, as he was later given some medication by a vet to vomit all of the marijuana he had taken.
Waddell would go on to jokingly ask the police that they could use the dog if they paid the $1500 in medical expenses.
Very smart Waddell, seeing as it is a bit suspicious that your dog stumbled into a stash in the first place, sure it wasn't your own?
2009-06-20 05:15:45
:: You May Now Kiss the.....frog?
Author : eddie272
What do a drought, a couple of frogs, and a wedding have to do with each other? A marriage ceremony between two frogs to end the drought, that's what. The Northeastern Assam state of India has been suffering a great lack of rain, pushing them to find other ways of obtaining water.
Forget irrigation, canals, or a sewage system, in Northeastern India it's all about the God of Rain, Barun Devata. A marriage between two frogs is said to please the God, causing him to pour blessings of rain upon the believers. And you thought your Star Trek themed wedding was cool.
I for one, am outraged at the unfair treatment of animals. This is another example the cruelty that animals face worldwide. The frogs aren't given a chance to choose their spouses. Furthermore what if the frog already has a wife, she must be pretty mad. What if the the frog already had kids? They will grow up without knowing their father or mother. And if the frog wants a divorce, what happens then?
Perhaps that is why they're a having a drought. The God of Animal Protection is not happy with the treatment the frogs are receiving.
Needless to say I hope that the pair of frogs in the video have a happy marriage, that the Indian people receive their rainfall, and that this story has a happy ending.
2009-06-20 05:15:45
:: All fear Flower Power!
Author : eddie272
Criminals as of lately are getting smarter with how they perform their crimes, from breaking into a bank through an air duct to ripping apart an ATM machine by pulling it off its hinges with a truck. As if that were bad enough, a city in a Tokyo district with a population of just over 500,000 faced 1,710 break-ins in 2002, setting some sort of crazy record.
Obviously this really pissed off the Japanese, so they dropped their sushi and samurai swords and got their heads together to figure out how to solve the problem. Obviously more cops wouldn't be terribly effective, nor would arming their citizens better. No. Their solution:
Flowers.
It looks so innocent, but don't let it fool you
The Japanese started "Operation Flower" about 3 years ago. I'm sure the not-scary name came along just to fool the bastard criminals trying to rob stuff. Interestingly, these flowers don't have tiny security cameras attached to them, nor do they have motion-sensing devices, and no, they don't explode, dammit!
The whole idea is actually pretty basic. See, they encourage inhabitants to place the flowers facing the street, because they figured out that if you can't see the criminals then you can't catch them. Downright genius, isn't it?
But hey guess what, it actually works. It brought down crime almost 80% since 2002. Now I really want to call bullsh*t on this, because seriously, do Japanese people really give that much of a damn about flowers to be tending to them for enough time to thwart any possible evildoer? I really want some feedback on that.
But for my American readers, remember the gun-control issue going around in the senate and stuff from time to time? Maybe we should just tell Obama to use a few billion dollars more on flowers. I can already envision a catch phrase for it:
"F3@r Flowers"If this ever happens, Wacky Issues invented it, I'll even add a trademark sign.
Obviously this really pissed off the Japanese, so they dropped their sushi and samurai swords and got their heads together to figure out how to solve the problem. Obviously more cops wouldn't be terribly effective, nor would arming their citizens better. No. Their solution:
Flowers.
It looks so innocent, but don't let it fool you
The Japanese started "Operation Flower" about 3 years ago. I'm sure the not-scary name came along just to fool the bastard criminals trying to rob stuff. Interestingly, these flowers don't have tiny security cameras attached to them, nor do they have motion-sensing devices, and no, they don't explode, dammit!
The whole idea is actually pretty basic. See, they encourage inhabitants to place the flowers facing the street, because they figured out that if you can't see the criminals then you can't catch them. Downright genius, isn't it?
But hey guess what, it actually works. It brought down crime almost 80% since 2002. Now I really want to call bullsh*t on this, because seriously, do Japanese people really give that much of a damn about flowers to be tending to them for enough time to thwart any possible evildoer? I really want some feedback on that.
But for my American readers, remember the gun-control issue going around in the senate and stuff from time to time? Maybe we should just tell Obama to use a few billion dollars more on flowers. I can already envision a catch phrase for it:
"F3@r Flowers"If this ever happens, Wacky Issues invented it, I'll even add a trademark sign.
2009-06-12 08:45:18
Does Sierra Leone ring a bell? If you guessed that it was a Spanish soap opera, then you are wrong and should have been paying attention in World Geography class.
Ah, who am I kidding, I doubt even World Geography teachers know where the hell that country is. Sierra Leone is a country in West Africa that is famous for a bloody civil war, um...being in the jungle and...um...did I already said they were in a bloody civil war?
I'm sorry to break it to everyone, especially any Sierra Leonians (try saying that 10 times in a hurry) hanging around this blog, but that country isn't particularly well known for anything productive.
Well that is about to change now, because they are about to make you laugh.
You see, the police force of a town close to Freetown, Sierra Leone is so darned bad that it can't protect itself. From what you ask?
not much - about 400 of these
They can't protect themselves from 400 highly venomous snakes. To be honest though, I'm sure New York City would become a ghost town if 400 Cobras went rampant there.
Soldiers and firefighters were called from the capital to attempt to flood out the snakes. I see one tiny little flaw with this brilliant plan: if they make the snakes run away, they will eventually head to the town and kill lots of people. Logic is great in small doses, huh?
But it's not like these guys don't know what they are doing, they have been called in before to kill wild bush cows goring innocent civilians. Did I mention that they also had rampaging elephants who killed eight people and chased 600 more away from their homes?
And you thought your life sucked.
Ah, who am I kidding, I doubt even World Geography teachers know where the hell that country is. Sierra Leone is a country in West Africa that is famous for a bloody civil war, um...being in the jungle and...um...did I already said they were in a bloody civil war?
I'm sorry to break it to everyone, especially any Sierra Leonians (try saying that 10 times in a hurry) hanging around this blog, but that country isn't particularly well known for anything productive.
Well that is about to change now, because they are about to make you laugh.
You see, the police force of a town close to Freetown, Sierra Leone is so darned bad that it can't protect itself. From what you ask?
not much - about 400 of these
They can't protect themselves from 400 highly venomous snakes. To be honest though, I'm sure New York City would become a ghost town if 400 Cobras went rampant there.
Soldiers and firefighters were called from the capital to attempt to flood out the snakes. I see one tiny little flaw with this brilliant plan: if they make the snakes run away, they will eventually head to the town and kill lots of people. Logic is great in small doses, huh?
But it's not like these guys don't know what they are doing, they have been called in before to kill wild bush cows goring innocent civilians. Did I mention that they also had rampaging elephants who killed eight people and chased 600 more away from their homes?
And you thought your life sucked.
2009-06-11 18:22:37
:: Nascar, as Jesus would have wanted it.
Author : eddie272
In the small town Gubbio, Italy, but you can forget Jeff Gordon or Kimi Raikkonen. In Gubbio it's all about St. Ubaldo, the patron Saint of the town (the guy with the golden superman cape), who has been the reigning champion of the annual Saint race for over 850 years. Beat that Jeff.
The race is held as a part of a celebration called "Fiesta de Ceri". The race commemorates an event in the town's history, where the Saint was carried on a platform announcing the town was safe from Northern invaders - Nascar fans?
Perhaps we should follow our European ancestors and have traditions that honor our heroes here in America; head shaving contests to remember the patron Saint of Pop Brittney Spears, and Adoption contests to honor the patron Saint of fertility Nadya Suleman (Octomom).
Who knows maybe our great-great grandchildren will be standing in Times Square waiting for the start of the 200th Couch Jumping Ceremony commemorating Tom Cruise.
2009-06-11 18:22:29
:: Woman throws out million-dollar mattress
Author : eddie272
What would you do if you had a million dollars? Hell, actually, what would you do if you had anything over 500 dollars?
If it was up to the majority of people in the world, they would spend that money until their bank accounts were in the negatives. They would travel across the world, eat incredible food, or get wasted in the VIP area.
Then again, I'm sure most of you have hidden Playboy or Game Informer magazines hidden under your mattresses. Or maybe the photo of that girl or guy who is just so damned hot. Or maybe you have a grand total of 1 million dollars stashed there.
Wait, what?
Oh yes my friends, that Israeli woman had 1 million dollars stashed in her mattress. Best part of this story?
She threw it away by accident.
She could use one of these
That's right, the Israeli woman bought the mattress for her elderly mother, then, as any rational person would do, threw the old mattress away - the one with the crap load of money. The morning after she made the wise connection that she had just given away her own life earnings and screamed in terror.
If you are wondering why she put such a giant amount of money in her mattress in the first place, it was apparently because she had "traumatic experiences with banks" in the past. Seriously, at least bank savings are not "mobile", shall we say.
You may find her today searching for her mattress in a trash dump in Tel Aviv containing 2500 tons of filthy garbage.
I'm not kidding.
If it was up to the majority of people in the world, they would spend that money until their bank accounts were in the negatives. They would travel across the world, eat incredible food, or get wasted in the VIP area.
Then again, I'm sure most of you have hidden Playboy or Game Informer magazines hidden under your mattresses. Or maybe the photo of that girl or guy who is just so damned hot. Or maybe you have a grand total of 1 million dollars stashed there.
Wait, what?
Oh yes my friends, that Israeli woman had 1 million dollars stashed in her mattress. Best part of this story?
She threw it away by accident.
She could use one of these
That's right, the Israeli woman bought the mattress for her elderly mother, then, as any rational person would do, threw the old mattress away - the one with the crap load of money. The morning after she made the wise connection that she had just given away her own life earnings and screamed in terror.
If you are wondering why she put such a giant amount of money in her mattress in the first place, it was apparently because she had "traumatic experiences with banks" in the past. Seriously, at least bank savings are not "mobile", shall we say.
You may find her today searching for her mattress in a trash dump in Tel Aviv containing 2500 tons of filthy garbage.
I'm not kidding.
2009-06-11 09:01:08
:: Fisherman makes unexpected catch
Author : eddie272
Some fishermen catch simple salmon, while those most experienced in the craft go for big catches like marlins, sharks, and whales. Well 10 days ago Rodney Soloman said "screw you all, I can do better".
And better it was, much better - much more explosive too. If you are sitting there wondering what type of fish would be so god-damned amazing besides a giant 20 feet octopus, then wonder no more. It wasn't a fish.
Octopus can't beat that
It was a missile. A live missile. Live as in "I'm going to blow up in your face because you piss me off". And yet Mr. Soloman reeled it in and kept it in his boat for 10 days until he dropped it off at the city of St. Peterburg.
A bomb squad was immediately called in - likely crapping their pants in fear - and successfully disarmed it in an empty parking lot. According to the reports:
"the missile was very corroded from floating in saltwater for a long time. It was live and in a very unstable state."
Please note the "very unstable state". Poor Rodney was probably just a sneeze away from blowing himself to smithereens.
Anyone here would like to dare the suicidal Iranian woman to take that bomb and hit it with a hammer?
And better it was, much better - much more explosive too. If you are sitting there wondering what type of fish would be so god-damned amazing besides a giant 20 feet octopus, then wonder no more. It wasn't a fish.
Octopus can't beat that
It was a missile. A live missile. Live as in "I'm going to blow up in your face because you piss me off". And yet Mr. Soloman reeled it in and kept it in his boat for 10 days until he dropped it off at the city of St. Peterburg.
A bomb squad was immediately called in - likely crapping their pants in fear - and successfully disarmed it in an empty parking lot. According to the reports:
"the missile was very corroded from floating in saltwater for a long time. It was live and in a very unstable state."
Please note the "very unstable state". Poor Rodney was probably just a sneeze away from blowing himself to smithereens.
Anyone here would like to dare the suicidal Iranian woman to take that bomb and hit it with a hammer?
2009-06-11 09:01:08
The recession has indeed hit designers and common people alike. World Renown English fashion designer Paul Smith has apparently been forced to explore other areas of fashion. One can assume the ideas that came to his head before he arrived to the idea of a designer trash can.
Designer flashlight, no ooh how about a designer backscratcher, nah. Boy I've got it! A designer trashcan with........cute little bunny ears.
Yes sir those cute little bunnies pictured above are Paul Smith designer trash cans and have been placed in London's Convent Garden and Holland Park. The adorable little bunny's ears flash when trash is placed in side of them . A great incentive for the common litterbug. The bunny design could be misleading to the not so intelligent tourist who sees the bunny and thinks:
A trash can is for trash, but a rabbit shapped trash can. What could that be for? Rabbits?
Perhaps Paul Smith should clarify to his fellow British people and tourists alike that his trash cans are for trash and not for road kill.
Designer flashlight, no ooh how about a designer backscratcher, nah. Boy I've got it! A designer trashcan with........cute little bunny ears.
Yes sir those cute little bunnies pictured above are Paul Smith designer trash cans and have been placed in London's Convent Garden and Holland Park. The adorable little bunny's ears flash when trash is placed in side of them . A great incentive for the common litterbug. The bunny design could be misleading to the not so intelligent tourist who sees the bunny and thinks:
A trash can is for trash, but a rabbit shapped trash can. What could that be for? Rabbits?
Perhaps Paul Smith should clarify to his fellow British people and tourists alike that his trash cans are for trash and not for road kill.
2009-06-10 22:10:39
We all know about those criminals who steal money from a store and then forget the goods on their way to the car. Of course you do, these are the type of people who just make you feel so damn smart. Well get ready folks, a man in St. George, Utah just made those criminals look like Einsteins.
How is this even remotely possible, you ask? Well Daniel Murray, being the smarty-pants that he is, told bank-tellers of his little plot to kill the president while emptying his savings account. That ranks up there in brain-dead stupidity along with handing your victim a loaded gun insisting you will kill them with your bare hands.
He was just arrested a month later in Laughlin, Nevada; a city oh-so-ironically two letters away from describing this man's IQ level.
Good job Mr. Murray, you earn the Idiot of the Month award for June.
How is this even remotely possible, you ask? Well Daniel Murray, being the smarty-pants that he is, told bank-tellers of his little plot to kill the president while emptying his savings account. That ranks up there in brain-dead stupidity along with handing your victim a loaded gun insisting you will kill them with your bare hands.
He was just arrested a month later in Laughlin, Nevada; a city oh-so-ironically two letters away from describing this man's IQ level.
Good job Mr. Murray, you earn the Idiot of the Month award for June.
2009-06-10 22:10:39
Just visualize that image times 10.
Apparently there was one important issue that George Morales didn't take care of before dying; parking in the appropriate place.
According to his daughter, the man may have been laying inside the car for weeks, racking up parking violation after parking violation from unsuspecting police officers. Of course another viable explanation is that the policemen may have thought that the man with his head resting on the steering wheel was just taking a pretty big month-long nap.
Mr. Lopez was finally found after a grumpy city Marshall got annoyed at the man sleeping under the highway and decided to tow the parking-ticket and dust-laden minivan, only to find the driver, let's just say, unwilling to cooperate.
In any case I'm sure all would agree that the policemen should have figured out the issue after the third ticket. All hail common sense. 'Nough said.
Apparently there was one important issue that George Morales didn't take care of before dying; parking in the appropriate place.
According to his daughter, the man may have been laying inside the car for weeks, racking up parking violation after parking violation from unsuspecting police officers. Of course another viable explanation is that the policemen may have thought that the man with his head resting on the steering wheel was just taking a pretty big month-long nap.
Mr. Lopez was finally found after a grumpy city Marshall got annoyed at the man sleeping under the highway and decided to tow the parking-ticket and dust-laden minivan, only to find the driver, let's just say, unwilling to cooperate.
In any case I'm sure all would agree that the policemen should have figured out the issue after the third ticket. All hail common sense. 'Nough said.
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